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EXPERT IN HITTING SNOOZE AND MISSING DEADLINES.
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I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat.

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Why aren't Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They're dark comedies.

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It is the quality of our work which will please God, not the quantity.

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Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? Incase he gets a hole in one

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